Road Trippin'
by Cody'sxFavoritexGirl
Summary: A fed-up Randy, a miserable Cody, and a whiny Ted. All packed into the small confined space of a car for at least five hours. Sanity? Eh, who needs it. Told from Cody's POV.


**A/N: I own nothing, so don't sue. This is just something that came to me while I was sitting in school, and is told from Cody's POV. This is my first attempt at humor so go easy on me. XD Reviews are very appreciated. Enjoy.**

**Road Trippin'**

"It's too cold in here," Ted DiBiase, my best friend and fellow road trip buddy, whined. Despite the fact that he was dressed in jeans and a hoodie and we were right in the middle of Alabama, he was cold. I sighed from the backseat and shook my head. Why the man was my best friend I had yet to discover.

"For Christ's sake, Ted, not all of us can ride in a fucking sauna," Randy Orton snapped from the driver's seat. Ted ignored him and leaned forward, reaching for the dial that adjusted the heat.

"No, dammit!" Randy growled, slapping Ted's hand away. "We'll fry to death if you crank the heat any higher!"

"But I'm cold," Ted repeated. He twisted around in the passenger's seat and looked back at me. "Cody thinks it's cold, don't you, Cody?"

The bastard. He knew that I hated to be dragged into him and Randy's little bitch fests. "Yeah, sure, whatever," I mumbled, suddenly wishing that I had opted to ride with Cena and Ryder instead. The annoying, eardrum-pounding music and Ryder's constant chatter was starting to sound better and better.

"You see? It's not just me," Ted said to Randy, sounding triumphant.

"Ted, you're Southern. How in the hell can you ever be cold? You were raised in heat."

"We had air conditioning, Randy," Ted said, rolling his eyes and making it sound like Randy was the one who was being stupid. "Now move your goddamn hand so I can turn the heat up."

"Not gonna happen, pretty boy," Randy said, keeping his hand pressed firmly over the dial.

Ted shot him a glare that could melt the polar ice caps, and I saw what was going to happen before it did. "Guys, not in the car," I begged, trying desperately to stop the inevitable. "I really don't feel like dying today."

Of course they ignored me, and Ted made a lunge for Randy's hand. Randy lifted his hand at the exact moment that Ted moved and smacked him right across the face, throwing him back into the passenger side door. I had to admit, I was impressed; Randy's eyes never left the road during the slap.

"Ow!" Ted cried, rubbing the angry-looking mark on the side of his face that was shaped perfectly like Randy's hand. "What the fuck, Randy?"

"Don't you 'what the fuck' me," Randy snapped, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the road. "You brought it upon yourself, Teddy. If you had just sat in your seat like a good boy, then you wouldn't have gotten the shit knocked out of you."

Ted scowled at him, but didn't say anything. I snickered in the backseat. I couldn't help myself; I loved it when Randy got the better of Teddy. It was hilarious.

Ted twisted around to glare at me. "What? You think that's funny, Rhodes?"

"Yeah, actually I do," I replied, smirking at him. "You want some ice for that, Ted? It looks pretty painful. Or maybe you want me to kiss it and make it feel better?"

Ted shot forward, his hands reaching out for me, but Randy seized his shirt collar and yanked him back into his seat, all without removing his gaze from the windshield. The man is a god, I swear.

"Ted, sit your ass down and don't move, or I swear to God that I'll–"

"–turn this car around," I said in a sing-songy voice. "Isn't that right, Randy?"

Randy's steely-blue eyes finally left the road, and they darted up to the rearview mirror, locking with mine. "Don't get smart with me, Cody," he warned, his voice flat and cold. "Or I'll dump your ass on the side of the road and you can walk to the arena."

I inwardly rolled my eyes, but I knew that Randy would actually toss me out of the car if I shot a snappy retort back at him, so I just shut my mouth and glowered out the window.

We rode in blissful silence for the next few miles, until a voice tinged with a Southern accent piped up again.

"I'm hungry."

**END**


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